Nobody gives you a user manual when you become a parent. There is no class you can take to prepare you for the endless situations that come up. It’s a grow and learn as you go, every step of the way, doing what you think is best for you and your child.
I wasn’t the ‘ it comes natural to me’ mom. I was the baby of the family, so I wasn’t used to having small humans around. I was never big into dollies and barbies. I was more the Tom-boy who drove dirt bikes and played dinkies with the boys. I remember being surprised at my friends reaction to a baby, as a small girl. They would get all excited and oooey gooey, while I just didn’t think it was a big deal. It’s just a baby, what’s the fuss about, right?!?
Much time passes and I’m in my starter marriage, all our friends were having babies and I was having some really weird feelings inside when I picked up the bambinos. Could it be the tick-tick of motherhood finally bubbling up to the surface? Discussions happened, decisions were made, and presto!! Nine months later, here I am…. A mom.
My world turned upside down. I had gone through life feeling love; for my parents, siblings, grandparents, niece and nephews, but nothing prepared me for the love I would feel for this little bundle. Somehow, life wasn’t about me anymore. Major priority change. Instantly. It also opened my eyes to Birthday celebrations. I had gone through life thinking my birthdays were my special day. Boy, was I wrong. Each and every Birthday, had been a very special day for Mom and Dad too.
We settled into a lifestyle of love, trying to enjoy every day as a family, but also trying to teach our little person to be a great human; Play nice. Please and thank you. Close your mouth when you chew. Clean your room please. On and on went the life lessons for our growing little guy.
As he grew, so did we. Not only as parents, but also as children to our own parents. As we made sacrifices for our child, it made us realize how many sacrifices our parents made for us. As we practiced tough love with our boy, we realized how it broke our parents hearts to do what was best for us, even if we as children hated the hard decisions being made. As we watched our teen make mistakes and then ignore our well intentioned advice, we saw our own selves as teens…..and remembered how we thought we knew it all. I honestly had no idea that becoming a parent would make me a better child.
I remember chatting with another mom in the village mall about how hard it was to get the little buggers to do anything. I commiserated with the other mom but told her that my boy was fabulous at home. He cleaned his own room, helped me out around the house and was in general an awesome adult in the making. I told her that my goal as a parent was to to raise a responsible young man who looked at his wife as an equal. One who who wasn’t afraid to do a few dishes, do the laundry or cook supper. There’s nothing worse than a boy who spends his life having his drawers picked up by his mother and then gets married and expects his wife to continue to cater to him.
We all have different views on parenting, as well as different priorities for our children’s lives. Some of us are the type to pass over the keys to a brand new car, while others choose to help them work for it and know the wonderful feeling of achieving a goal. Who’s to say who’s right or wrong? Who’s to know their way is better than that of our neighbours? At the end of the day, we (with a few exceptions) all do what we think is best for our kids. We guide, nurture and love them, every day we can.
The older I get, I realize how little I know. I look at my own Dad (miss you Mom!) and realize his extra years really do count for something. Those extra life lessons that he’s had, have helped him to grow and expand his knowledge and life experiences; but even dear old Dad doesn’t know it all, he’s learning as he goes and he’s wise enough to know it.
My own young man is on auto pilot now, he’s almost 19. I’ve stuffed as much goodness as I can into him, while he was in his impressionable years. I can still suggest and remind, but in the end, he makes up his own mind. I will be his ear, when he finds the time to chat with me. I will guide him with my words, even though he may not listen or heed what I say. I will give him the honest hard truth that he sometimes needs to hear. I will never stop being a mom to him as long as I draw a breath. The tremendous love I had for my boy on the day he was born grows every day, just as he himself continues to grow and learn daily. He’s well on his way to being that amazing adult that I knew he would be.
Alex, (if you’re reading this)…..When you were little, your teachers would always say to me,
” I don’t know where your child is going in life, but I know he’s going somewhere special!~”
The jury is still out on the where part, but you’ve definitely got the special part hands down already.
That’s it for this time, if you have any questions, or comments, I’d love to hear them. If you’re really enjoying the BPA blogging adventures and don’t want to miss out, click ‘follow me’ and your name/email will be added to our growing list of blog subscribers. We’ll email you when a new blog post happens, then you can read them all at your own leisure…..and remember, I’m no expert, I’m just a painter gal with some thoughts to share.
Did you like this blog post? Do you know my kid? Please share a picture of you and your kids, in the comments!!